


The Story of us

by sam_writes_stuff



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 03:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16485314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_writes_stuff/pseuds/sam_writes_stuff
Summary: Peter and Lara Jean are in their late twenties. When she moved back to town he still has feelings for her. He's not sure if she is also in the same page. He has made a mistake and makes him think he would lose her forever. As the events unfold from there, he recalls how they met and fell in love in school.





	1. Chapter 1

Fore note: I don't own anything except for the fanfiction. All the rights to characters, pictures and videos are reserved to respective owners.

Peter and Lara Jean are in their late twenties. After the events of the final book many years have passed and the duo is no longer together. Peter meets Lara Jean again, when she moves back to their home town. He immediately realizes that his feelings for Lara Jean hasn't left him, even after all those years. He's not sure if she is also in the same page. He has made a mistake that makes him think he would lose her forever. As the events unfold from there, he recalls how they met and fell in love in school.

There are certain elements from the book but mostly the story follows the film. Some situations and reactions have been changed in this story.

Peter x Lara Jean

This is my first fanfic guys send me reviews.

 

"Lara Jean, are you going to leave it like this? This is us we're talking about!" I plead 

"Us? We haven't been together for past god-knows-how-many years!" Lara Jean says still anger in her voice, then she pauses for moment. Finally in a softer voice she says, "I don't want this anymore, Peter." She was looking straight in the eye. And that's when I knew I had to believe her. It was the first time in a while she had a actually taken my name. Yet it was a goodbye.

.

.

Lara Jean was the woman of my dreams. She is the woman of my dreams. But sadly -I'm pretty damn sure that after today's incident Lara Jean wouldn't want to see me ever again. Not willingly. How did we get here?

.

.

To understand that you have to understand all the facades of this story.

She was as beautiful as the first day I had fallen in love with her. Those are distinct memories still runs wild in my mind. Nothing had changed. Not for me.

Not for me.


	2. The year in seventh grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music for this part: "Remember not to forget" by audio machine watch?v=SEMuUZ0tdvo

I first saw Lara Jean Song Covey on the first day of 6th grade, at the assembly, when a kid with long black hair sat in front of me. She had a headband with a bow and I thought it was kind of cute. She turned to me and smiled. I smiled back without trying. Later the principal called us for a game, I raised my hand and I got picked, along with a bunch of other kids we went to stage. I was looking for her, she was not there on stage. Her long hair was stuck with the chair. I thought I could go there and help her untangle it but seemed a little preposterous. I didn't know her yet.

Lara Jean and I got to know each other a bit later in 7th grade. We were lab mates. She was a straight-A kid who prevented me from blowing up anything in Chem lab. We had fun. She was awfully quiet sometimes. I understood it mustn't have been easy for anyone to lose their mother. The very thought of it would make my 12-year-old stomach growl. So I tried to be there for her as much as I could. In occasions I have seen her looking at other kid's mothers and she had that look on her face, like the look you get when you are the only one who hadn't received christmas present. I thought of bringing her home sometimes, my mother was always talking how she wanted a daughter and had Owen instead. But the atmosphere at the house seemed tense those days. My dad was busy for we didn't know what and mom was kind of distant. Bringing Lara Jean into this didn't seem right. Sometimes we would hang out in the tree house with John McClearen and Genevieve. Sometimes Christine and Trevor joined us too. During those days, Genevieve was her best friend and I was glad that she had people around her to keep her happy.

Everything changed when we went for a real boy-girl party for the first time in seventh grade. It was at John's house. She was wearing something cute as far as I remember. She was always very neat.

That evening while playing spin the bottle, it was Lara Jean and I who had to do the unspeakable. Funny how kissing was a big deal back then. It was our turn and one can't cheat the bottle. We kissed. It was really quick and tongueless, but to a boy in seventh grade who never had any girlfriends, it was hot. She even smiled back at me. I had a huge crush on her from that moment, couldn't help but think how cute she was looking that evening. Although I was always protective of her, suddenly it appeared to me that I was attracted to her too. Like yesterday she was my lab mate hitting my hand whenever I touched a wrong chemical, but after the kiss I started seeing her as a girl. A girl who could be more than my friend if she wanted to. And that was it, Covey started to kind of avoid me at school after the incident, would barely talk to me during lab hours and eventually, we drifted away. Maybe she didn't like the fact that I kissed her. I never knew why.

She and Gen also became distant. While at the cafeteria I caught them fighting quite a few times. Well mostly Gen was being temperamental and Lara Jean would not protest much. Then one day -

"Hey give it back Genevieve, it's not yours to keep!" Lara Jean seemed furious during the lunch hours I had never seen her that way.  
"It's mine now!" Gen replied sitting on the table.  
"That's one of the last things from my mother you psycho!"  
"I'll give back when I get what is mine." She smiled crookedly and glanced at me then looking at her again. "Just so to remind you, you took what is mine first." I had no idea what she was talking about.  
Lara Jean didn't say anything her eyes were filled with tears and she left the cafeteria. I followed her and found her in the staircase crying in Sanderson's arms. He was her neighbor. They always hung out together. I asked her what just had happened. She didn't reply as she was crying really hard. Did she even notice me?

"Gen took her mother's pin. It's important to her." Sanderson replied.

Although I didn't like the fact that Sanderson replied, I thought I would get it back for her. At the end of the school, I asked Gen to come to the herb garden. I didn't want to make a fuss in front of everyone while I confronted her. She came there five minutes late as I was already there.

"Hey, Peter what's the urgency." She asked me in a sweet voice.

"You took Covey's pin, and you were harsh to her in the cafeteria." I maintained firmness in my voice "It belonged to her mother. She is upset."

"It's that what she told you?" She asked unamused.

"Well Sanderson did, she was crying." I mentioned that hoping she would understand how bad she made Lara Jean feel.

She laughed. "Oh, Peter you are so concerned about her." She said. "It was Lara Jean who made me say those things in the cafeteria so that Josh feels bad for her." She paused for a second. "You see Lara Jean has a crush on him." She rolled her eyes.

Lara Jean had a crush on Josh? That was news to me. My twelve-year-old self-was shocked but then I could see it. They were neighbours and practically inseparable since forever, besides Gen, he was her only friend to whom she was close to. They even rid the bus together. Now I realised why Lara Jean had stopped talking to me after our kiss.

Gen was looking at me still smiling. I put up a brave face and said, "Well good for them."

"You know I like you. If you want we could be more than friends just like Lara Jean and Josh".

I was not expecting that. Instead, it was the last thing on my mind. "I will think about it," I told her to escape the situation.


	3. Autumn of Junior year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music for this chapter: "Trouble" by Coldplay /BXvztVMnLVo

Gen and I were a huge deal as a couple in high school. We started dating at the end of 7th grade when I finally asked her for winter prom. She had immediately said yes and everything kind of kick started from there. Our first kiss was in the same night of prom while dancing to Taylor Swift's "love story". That was song was such a hit couple of years ago and it worked for us. Our first time was the summer right before the high school freshman year. And it was something heavenly, being exposed to someone for the first time. I always thought it would be awkward for both of us but it turned out the opposite.

Meanwhile, Gen and Lara Jean had drifted apart, I guess they were interested in different things. Chris was Gen's cousin whose parents had just gone out of town leaving her with their grandmother. She and Lara Jean became best friends somehow even though Chris was entirely opposite of Lara Jean who was sweet and innocent. Eventually, I kind of forgot about the whole crush thing. Lara Jean still hung out with Josh, but he was dating her sister Margot. Gen would sometimes point out that it was weird that three of them hung out together. I honestly didn't care about them at that point but Gen would keep me reminded how Lara Jean had/has a crush on Josh.

Lara Jean and I had minimal interactions in last few years. She barely spoke to me during our homecoming club meets at middle school. And now she sort of hung out with her small set of people and kept herself in her private niche. Gen didn't like her much ever since we joined high school. I never asked if something had happened between them because it seemed a bit intense. Every now and then Gen would say something not so nice to her. I had to make amends on behalf of Gen. And now in junior year, not only to Lara Jean but to everyone. There was a point where I was always correcting for her mistakes.

It was getting worse between us too. She and I would fight more and more. She would ignore me for days. She once tried to flirt with a college dude at mall, trying to get back at me. Even though she was a bit of menace I could understand her. Her father never being there due to his job was something I could very much relate to. My dad had just abandoned us two summers back. Now he has a wife and a son with her. I was somehow still dealing with it even after two years later. It was not a phase that everyone could deal without losing their shit. I had mom keeping my moral compass in the correct direction, and I knew I had to take of her and Owen. Genevieve was alone, and her mother was mostly busy with her friends and her parties, that was probably her way of coping with life. I was the only one she could lean on, and I genuinely cared for her and took care of her. She felt the same about me. There was a time she thought her parents would get divorced, her parents fought every single time her dad was home and she over heard her mom accusing her dad for cheating on her with a colleague. Gen had ran to our house and I had spent the night comforting her.

It was abuzz that we were sleeping around like bunnies. Well, we were like it was no one's business. She was my first. It was good with her and I was still coping with my dad not being around. With her situation it felt like she was the only one who could understand me. But we barely spoke about him as mentioning him would make Gen would worry that her dad would leave them too.

By the end of freshman year, it was getting more and more evident that I didn't mean to her the way she meant to me. But I was naïve, I have always been when it comes to feelings. I had to bear with her thinking its one of those phases when her parents constantly fought for days.

Last one week she hadn't called me or replied to my texts after we fought the previous day. The next day school was starting, and I wasn't sure if she had already dumped me. Tomorrow we start school. It would be weird to be around her otherwise. Then I got a text from her.

Mom cooked after ages. Are you coming over?

I knew what that meant. I liked sneaking out after dinner and spending the night with her.

Next day at school everything seemed fine, like we haven't gone through a huge fight. I hugged her from behind while she was talking to someone.

"So I was just complimenting Lara Jean on her government-issued boots." Although she tried to be cute, I knew she didn't mean it. As she went to say hi to someone, I was left again to clean up her mess.

"She just stopped drinking caffeine for some diet; I think she's in withdrawal." In my head that sounded like a good excuse.

"Are you sure she just doesn't have a chemical imbalance?" Lara Jean quickly replied being sassy. I walked to Gen as I wouldn't have any of that sassiness from Lara Jean. She looked good though, despite Gen being nasty towards her.

Rest of the day went on as usual. We had the classes with Greg and Emily, and after that, we went to lacrosse practice. After school, I had gone to Greg's house. All the boys were celebrating the start of the school year. Genevieve had calmed down, and we were together, I didn't need to worry anymore.

Get was talking to Emily when I finally got away from Greg and the guys. I sat beside her kissing her chin and she kissed me back, this made Emily blush a little. Gen did like to flaunt me and we had everyone annoyed with our PDA at school. We were least bothered about them. We were high school sweet hearts and the ultimate power couple around.

"So what are you guys talking about?" I asked looking at Emily.

"Nothing, just girl talk." She replied to me with a smile. "She was talking about some uggs boots she today."

And that immediately reminded about this morning. "You are still talking about that?" I asked Gen being amused.

"Worth a laugh." She shrugs me off. "Well, if miss Goody Goody would roam around wearing those she would get picked up upon."

"Yeah but you are still talking about her when she is not even here. Isn't that a little weird?" I said it lightly trying to get her to stop thinking about Lara Jean. "Besides, you know that wasn't so bad."

"It wasn't so bad actually." Emily agreed with me and Gen threw me a threatening look. She didn't like it much even when I playfully disagreed with her.

"Peter we should leave. I have yoga tomorrow." She said not wanting to make a scene in front of Emily but I knew that she was fuming inside and no amount of Yoga could calm that volcano down. May be I didn't care too. I was done playing these games with her.

She didn't say a word while I dropped her to her home. I was already regretting that this would turn into a huge fight. Upon returning, I was lying down in my room when I got a text from Gen.

"Hey PK. We need to talk."

I called immediately feeling my muscling getting tense.

"Hi." She picked up immediately, her voice seemed calm too. "Thanks for defending Lara Jean in front of others when you should have been defending me." She used to play it cool just to be angry at me even more.

"Gen, it was just a joke. You know that too. And you seriously need to stop obsessing over Lara Jean." I told her.

"No, it is you who needs to stop being on her side all the time." I hear her voice raising. "Girls like Lara Jean are not as innocent as they want the whole world to see them."

"What has she ever done to you Gen?" There was a silence from her side when I said " You are the most beautiful girl in the school and she barely exists there making no impact on all of us."

"I don't care Peter. I don't want to be with a person who can't even be on the same team as their girl friend."

"What? You want us to break up over this?" Last time she had wished the same thing for us. "This isn't about me not taking your side. You want a break is that all?" I began to realize what was going on. She had been really bored with me.

"The thing is PK we have been dating for a long time since we were kids. I have only known you, and there is so much out there to know and see and feel." She said being honest.

"Peter, I met someone during the break, and we have this chemistry. He goes to college and is a good guy." She paused and then continued, " I wanted to tell you at the school itself, but we both have a reputation keep. He makes me feel really good. We have fun together. Nothing personal. Hope you would be fine."

"Very well Gen" I cut the call angrily.

This seemed like a start of an awful year. Gen was my first girlfriend and to me all of it was personal. Rest of the week went on as I could hear people gossiping about us in the hallway, now that we were broken up some girls tried to get cosy with me but I was not interested. Soon I would hear from others how the sex between Gen and her new college-man was over the moon good. They had tried things we never did. This didn't make being away from her any easier and I kept myself away from all these with lacrosse practice. It looked like I had terrible luck in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This one's done. I know you those of you who have only seen the movie don't want anywhere Gen near Peter. but hey they have history and Peter's feelings for her won't just go away!
> 
> Sorry about that but we'll get there (book readers you know what I mean!)
> 
> Keep reading and reviewing!


	4. Is this a good thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two songs for this part - " Lost in Japan" - Shawn Mendes watch?v=ycy30LIbq4w
> 
> and for the later part "Ho, Hey" - The Lumineers watch?v=zvCBSSwgtg4

My weekend started off pretty bland until something bizarre happened. Saturday morning I woke up late. I was still feeling tired because last night it got quite late at Greg's house watching the game. When I went to the kitchen my mom had already left for the shop and left me a note on the fridge. The note read -

_**Owen's gonna be at Mike's house so don't worry about lunch. I'll be back by seven. Don't forget your promise.** _

I checked the china pot in the shelf next to the fridge. Usually she leaves me some money when she is away on weekends, and there it was, my lunch money. I called up Darrell to check if he was free for lunch but unfortunately he was already out in a date with Pammy and obviously I wasn't going to be a third wheel there.

The moment I put my phone down to the kitchen counter my phone buzzed with an incoming text. It was from Genevieve.

**Hey, wanna grab some lunch?**

Even though we were broken up Genevieve and I were still talking through the last week. When we were together she always wanted me to be the last person she talks to before going to sleep. That wasn't always the case because I would be tired after the practice or the guys would hit my phone about some random things. That pisssed her off a lot. Actually a lot of things did. She wanted me to write her some lame notes when I could just text her. She wanted us to have a personal song which again was really not something I was interested in. I had a very different taste in music than her and we couldn't really agree on a song which could describe us.

When I got her text I quickly replied her back.

**Yeah sure.**

she too replied almost instantaneously.

**Cool. Meet me at my house in half an hour.**

Half an hour was really not possible as it would take that much time to drive to her place and I still needed to take a bath. But I didn't suggest otherwise. She wouldn't mind if I was a bit late anyway. I took a bath as soon as possible and grabbed a pair of blue jeans and a black and green t-shirt. When I finally reached her place it was already an hour. Gen opened the door with a smirk and one brow raised, looking like  _"I knew you would be late."_

"Looks like you're not yet ready to go!" I pointed out to her that she was not dressed up.

She gestured to ask me to come inside and I did. Closing the door behind me she said, "I got hungry PK. So ordered us from the Chinese restaurant. There is some fried rice and chilly chicken."

I assumed that we were hanging out at her place instead. So we sat by the couch and she opened the food parcels she had already received, and then she informed that her parents were not there. Her dad was away in yet another business trip for the next whole week and her mom was attending a baby shower of her friend, and will not be back before night. This meant that we were alone in her house. The very thought kind of made my throat dry. When we were together this would have meant some good time together. But we weren't together. So I controlled my emotions before she could sense them. We had just broken up and things could be really messed up between us. Beside I didn't want to get her the idea that I was not doing well with out her.

We were done with eating and were watching TV when I finally asked her, "Why aren't you hanging out with your college boy today?"

She was watching TV, with her eyes glued to the screen. There was a run of some show with wedding dresses on TLC and she didn't seem to hear me completely in the first time.

"I am asking why isn't your boyfriend around on a Saturday? You guys just started dating.". Well it did kind of sounded weird in my head that he wasn't really around and he was ok with her spending the day with me, her ex.

"He has to go to another university for his science project thing. It's like collaboration of his proff." She replied barely glancing at me.

"And he is ok with me being here?"

"Why wouldn't he be? We are just hanging around , aren't we?" This time she took a quick glance at me but again got focused to the dresses show.

I didn't answer that one and looked at the TV. A woman in her thirties with a lot of tattoos was arguing with her mom about wearing a black wedding dress. It made no sense why Gen was watching it with wrapt attention. Then she asked me, "Are you jealous PK?"

I countered her with a question, "Are you trying to make me?"

"What if I were?" She said again focused to the tattooed lady on screen.

"Then I would say you really have a poor taste. I am so much good looking than he is." Despite how vain it sounded it was true.

"You are." She said with a teasing voice, not looking at me, "But he is smart. He is majoring in Genetics and planning work on cancer."

"I did't know you had hots for nerds!" I said rolling my eyes. Gen was always changing her mood about everything, it was not really a cake walk for me.

"So you are jealous!" She said in that teasing voice and kissed me.

The kiss all of a sudden felt nice. It had been five days I had't been near her. As I kissed her back she opened her mouth and welcomed me. He mouth tasted like garlic from the Chinese food but I didn't care. She deepened the kiss and soon it was a heavy make out session. We stopped for a moment when we both were out of breath and she started to undo my shirt.

* * *

We were lying on our backs on her bed, both covered only by a sheet and gazing at the ceiling. There was silence between us which was never the case usually. Gen liked to talk and then she would make me cuddle her but at the moment, there we were separately.

"I am not dating Jake to make you jealous Peter." She finally broke the silence between us. "I think I really like him and what ever was between us is truly over."

"You are impossible Genevieve!" I said standing up and immediately fetching my clothes.

"But this felt good." She said not getting up.

"You need to sort things out Gen. You are making things really complicated!" I told her and taking my car keys and wallet, I left her place.

All the way home I was consumed in a feeling of guilt for giving in to Genevieve every time. I knew even after all these she could be texting me at the very moment and it would be also possible that she would call me at night and I too would end up talking to her. It was like she had an invisible power over me. Even if I was mad I couldn't be mad at her for long. And I really hated that. I was Peter Kavinsky, there wasn't a single girl at school who could resist my charm. Yet, there was Gen, who was driving me nuts.

* * *

For rest of the time was at home, as I promised mom I would make her and Owen dinner, two nights ago. So I made them pasta and garlic bread. It was always easy making pasta. Mom came back after seven as she said and appreciated that her son kept his promise. Owen had come back from his friend Mike's house around the same time. After both took their times to get fresh they were at the dinner table.

"Peter, this white sauce is good. At this rate I think I can leave you two boys and take the trip with Rachel."

Rachel was mom's friend from the single mom's group she was part of. She lived in the next neighborhood. They have been talking about attending a self help workshop for single moms. The deal was that the place where it was going to be organized was four hours drive away from us and the workshop itself was for four days. And she was worried that it would cut her customers at the shop and her boys would starve themselves at home. Those were the times she wished she had a girl who would cook and keep Owen alive. So I had taken it upon myself to make her dinner and prove a point that her son's weren't so bad.

"Just go. I will take care of the shop after school. Your customers have your goodwill they wouldn't all abandon you." To this she smiled a bitter sweet one and I realized I had chosen the wrong set of words. "Mom, it will be fine. I am only worried that Owen here will melt his brains playing more video game!"

Owen was not paying attention as he was scrolling through his i-pad store and checking out new games. Mom nudged his shoulders to that he looked up at us and his other hand that was rolling the penne with the fork, stopped.

"Owen finish your food and then play with whatever." Mom told him and he briefly followed with a bored expression. Owen hated to be detached from his iPad but he had to follow orders from mom. At his age I was also playing a lot of video games as I can recall. Our neighbor John used to come over and we did have a lot of fun. But I had friends at school, I played for our team. My brother Owen on the hand is not much of a social butterfly but quite the opposite. The two friends he had were Mike and Tiffany. He was extremely shy and sometimes very confused even for a 12 year old boy. Mostly he was spending his times in playing games and reading comics. Mom was concerned too but his grades were still straight "A"s so she didn't bug him much.

"So how are you doing since you and Gen broke up?" Mom asked and I almost choked on the garlic bread. She didn't have to bring this to dinner time talk.

"I am fine mom." I told her. And it wasn't a lie entirely.

"I get it she was the first girl you dated and your feelings for her won't get faded so easily." She said and Owen was chuckling for which he got kicked under table. My mom went on, "Don't let it affect your practices and games."

"I wouldn't." I replied to keep it short. "Can we please not talk about this."

"Sure." It seemed she did understood me. "Your coach called. There is a couple of options for you to get scholarship next year for college. And that means getting ready from the beginning of this year. Peter, I don't want you to be distracted by anything."

I simply nodded. I knew she was hoping I would get a good scholarship and go to UVA preferably. She have been talking about this since I joined high school. I didn't mind her actually. Playing lacrosse at UVA was my dream too. UVA was really hard to get into as they had many applicants every year and they required a high SAT score.

"Your aunt Helen called." She continued changing the subject and to keep the mood light. "Looks like the twins are giving her a really hard time."

After we were done eating, I went to throw the trash outside. When I opened the door, I realised there was a letter addressed to me lying on the porch. It didn't have a stamp on it.

Not to brag but I got letters from girls pretty often. I wouldn't be surprised if some stalker sneaked it there especially now that Gen and I were broken up. So I instinctively moved forward to take the letter and throw it in the trash. I might had broken up with Gen, but I wasn't going to hang out with some psycho stalker anyway.

As I picked the letter, I immediately recognised the handwriting. It was Lara Jean's. I knew it from our lab days together. I was surprised that I could still recognize it. Turning it I saw the senders address and saw her name. It was indeed from her and that is so out of no where weird. I picked it up and carefully kept it inside my jacket.

Owen was waiting for me in the living room. "Mom's asking if you want some ice cream for dessert."  
I nodded my head back and forth in a no.

"Mom said its coffee and nuts, your favorite." Owen said suspiciously looking at my blank face.

"You know what, the coach said sugar is not good for me. I have to stop eating ice creams. Forever." Owen looked at me with disbelief, and I just shrugged and came upstairs. Bolting my room's door, I finally read the later in one breath.

I was so amused that Lara Jean had written me a letter. We hadn't spoken in ages. If this was a love letters, I swear to God! She was the last person who I would expect to be interested in me. She had always been the one to reject boys in general without really having a type. I guess it had to do something with my "king of the cafeteria" status that she would finally want to be with me. She was basically a no-grouper, loner. May be she wanted to change that.

Finishing the letter I was trying not to laugh. The letter, seemed a bit personal, not like a letter to be given to someone, and somewhat childish too. Well to begin with I didn't have STDs like she had assumed. I didn't know who was spreading such nonsense about me. She mentioned that after I kissed her I made her think about me. And according to her, it was totally selfish of me because I wanted her to like me like other girls did. Wait. . . what? How could she blame it on me when it was the bottle that had made us kiss. It wasn't like I was really forcing her to kiss me. And that kiss was something. It was something even at today's standards and back then it was hot. And Lara Jean was the first girl I had kissed. After that I couldn't stop thinking about her for the rest of the year, till Gen and I started dating. I remember thinking of asking her out for winter formal but then John had already asked her out and she had said yes to him.

And that was it, all the feelings that thirteen year old kid had for her were coming back to me as if a flood gate was opened. I hadn't thought about her or the kiss in ages. I wasn't sure if that was happening for real or this was a joke, a sick prank of some sorts. As far I knew Lara Jean she was not one of those people. She would never play with someone's feelings for fun. It seemed its written long back. So why she gave me after so long. Maybe because she thought now I was single and she had a chance.

She thinks I have golden specs in my eyes. I got up and checked in the mirror. I did't see it. That girl has some crazy ideas about me. I have to admit I was thrilled though. All of sudden it felt like I was the boy in seventh grade who had returned home from kissing her the first time. I have been called many adjectives in high school, but Lara Jean finding my eyes beautiful was something else. Did she mention she was immune to my charms? Well, clearly not so!

Then I came back to my senses. I couldn't possibly date Lara Jean. I wasn't the thirteen year old boy. What would everyone say when they saw me with Lara Jean. It wasn't that she wasn't pretty, which she was but she was also someone random at the school. Also, I just broke up with Gen. And what happened this afternoon was beyond any justification except that I was still in love with her. And may be she was in love with me too. I was thinking about how to get her back from her fancy college boyfriend like an hour ago. Wouldn't have been fair on Lara Jean till I knew I actually feel. But did I really want to date Lara Jean, the girl who hangs out with dorky "world of warcraft" boy Sanderson. It would't have looked good on my reputation.

* * *

Deciding this I was ready to turn her down in the best possible way. The next day I planned to wait till there wasn't too many people around. I reached school on time and her car wasn't around. I parked and got out of the car when I saw Darrell and Pammy had also arrived. He waved at me and both them walked towards me.

"Sorry man, we couldn't hang out with you last Saturday." He said sounding like they had ditched me from their date, when in reality I had backed out.

"Don't worry about it." I shrugged it off, "I am sure the two of you had great time." I told them with a wink. This made Pammy a little red as she shot a look at him. They had recently started doing it and they had been doing it plenty. It was all over and school gossip and Greg and I tried to joke about it whenever possible.

"Dude, too soon!" Pammy finally told me.

"C'mon guys!" I shrugged off once again.

"What is she doing?" Pammy said looking behind suddenly. It was Lara Jean. She was literally waiting everyone ahead of her park and then she struggled a lot to put her car in one parking spot. This had been going on for a while. She was't getting any better at this. If it was any other day I would have thought of helping her out, since she wrote me that love letter I waited to she how she reacts after seeing me. She seemed to be unaffected by any of this. She took out her bag, locked the car and straight walked past me, as if I wasn't standing there.

After meeting a few more people we went inside. She was at her locker, taking out her things. Until that moment I hadn't noticed that our lockers were close by. There were too many people around so I had to differ the talk. She didn't even realize I was there.

Then, I had chem with her before lunch. She sat in front of me as usual, her long black hair tied in a pony-tail. She didn't even look at me not even a stolen glance. Her lab partner Matt used to sit in the row left to her. He told her something and she replied with a giggle. How funny that would have been I thought. I, on the other hand, got a warning from the teacher for not paying attention. What was she trying to do, some reverse psychology, I thought. It was't working anyway but it was definitely making me irritated.

At lunch the whole gang was hang out together. That is when Greg brought up that last weekend he had to watch romcoms with his girlfriend. The movie's name was  _Letters to Juliet,_ and it just sounded cheesy from the name.

"I don't get it why would someone write letters when technology has gone so further!" Greg said making his voice high pitched to express his frustration. "You have a phone, use it girl!" He added rolling his eyes and we nodded in agreement, except for Pammy.

"I think it's one of the best romantic gesture on can do for you." She stated.

"Pams, why would you want to write on a piece of paper when you can face time. You can actually see the person." Greg counter argued.

"Your face doesn't always say how you feel, a letter does. It's more customized and personal." She defended.

"She wrote me a letter with a birthday gift last year. I think it was sweet." Darrell supported her and all the boys hooted at them.

The talk about the letter reminded me of Lara Jean again. I looked around for her but she wasn't in the cafeteria. Then I realized I hadn't seen her often at the time of lunch. Actually, I hadn't noticed her much around me. Last year I did see her with Margot and Sanderson but not too often.

"How long you guys are planning to stay apart?" Pammy suddenly asked me.

"What?" I was kind of caught off guard. "Who are you talking about?"

"You and Gen, silly. You are still looking for her in the cafeteria." She replied.

"Don't be ridiculous everyone knows she doesn't eat lunch in the cafeteria on mondays." I reminded her.

"Okay." She rolled her eyes before joining some other conversation.

It wasn't until final hour I could actually talk to Lara Jean. She and Chris were hanging out as usual during PE. I walked unto them and told her I wanted to have this conversation alone. Chris left us easily and then I had to bring it up.

"OK. . . I wanted to say that I. . ." I started to tell her when finally Chris left us alone for good, ". . . I really appreciate it, but it's never gonna happen."  
" I'm sorry, what?" she seemed really unaware of anything. Yes, girl pretended like she hadn't sent the letter.  
"From what I remember that kiss was hot, you know, for being in seventh grade, and I think it's really cool you think I have golden specks in my eyes. It's just, Gen and I are in a really weird place right now. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish. " I was going on when I say her eyes closing and she lost balance . "Whoa! Hey, Lara Jean." She fainted on me.

As she woke up I tried to help her get up. Maybe she's just having a bad time. She seemed focused now, grasping what was going on there and I tried once more to explain the situation to her. She was listening but got very distracted looking past me at the distance. Was she doing at on purpose? I couldn't but help to think that.

And suddenly she jumped on me, my back was on the tracks, she was on top of me, her lips were on mine, and I could feel her hands on me. The first thing that came to my mind was that it seemed familiar. Lara Jean smelling like Lara Jean. It was so strange that my lips remembered how she hers felt against mine, all those years ago. I obediently kissed her back. I couldn't help it, it was her after all, and it felt a lot better than 7th grade. She broke off when we heard the coach yelling at us. She said a solid thanks and went away running.

I was still out of breath, my heart beating under my chest like I had finished running a mile. Something exciting yet confusing was poking from inside of me. Who says thanks after kissing like that, after sending a later saying she had liked me like forever we had known each other. Damn Covey!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on FanFiction as samwritesstuff   
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13083369/1/The-Story-of-Us
> 
> and another version of this story is on wattpad with songs and pictures.  
> sam_writes_stuff  
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/162659474-the-story-of-us


	5. The deal maker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music for this chapter: "Closer (instrumental)" by Chainsmokers watch?v=Pkt9IrzOiPk
> 
> for later part - "Wait" by M83 watch?v=Rw7aMVvPDmc

 I was lying on the tracks confused, when Covey ran away in lighting speed. I got up from there and decided not to go after her just yet. I decided to wait for sometime and meet her after school. During the practice I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Most of my kisses were with Gen as far I or anyone in the school can remember. But she was my first kiss. A kiss that hadn't gotten out of my head. Those feelings were buried somewhere when I had moved on but definitely they were still there. First the letter and now the kiss, I couldn't but help wonder if Covey really liked me. 

After coming back from practice I took my stuff from the locker. My phone was buzzing with messages from Gen. Even though I wanted to turn her down in the quiet away from people, thanks to Lara Jean's little antique our kiss was probably a news for the school kids. It didn't make Gen happy obviously. She kept asking me what happened in her texts. Finally I replied.

Why do you care Gen?

It did seem intriguing to be able to get under Gen's skin finally. But at that very moment I needed answers. Lara Jean had already left as her car wasn't anywhere in the parking lot. I knew where she left so I head out to have a clear conversation with her. Her car was parked in front and I imagined that she would be home. But I was wrong. I knocked the door when her little sister opened the door with a suspicious face. Upon asking she informed that Lara Jean was no where to be found in the home. What a mysterious person she had become, I thought, that even at home she was missing. I guess I had missed out those years and didn't know who she was anymore. Of course I didn't know her anymore I reminded myself. I had been long time.

Her sister gave me some pity and informed that she might have gone to Corner Cafe, a diner near by. So I took a chance and went after to the place. She was there sitting on one of the bar stools.sipping a glass of iced tea. I slowly walked up there and sat beside her. Hoped nothing out of the ordinary would happen again. But a small part of me was excited for the surprise.

"Are you following me?" She asked me with her eyes wide open as if she was terrified to see me there.

"No" I replied quickly, "Your sister told me you would be here." I thought I saw her cursing her sister under her breath and then she looked at me half guilty and half confused. I thought this could take some time so I ordered chocolate shake.

"Look I wanted to talk about what happened. Because it didn't look like it took the first time." I said. "I am flattered but Gen and I just broke up. . ."

She smiled one of her cute Lara Jean smiles hearing this. "I am not trying to date you Peter Kavinsky." She told me.

Of course you aren't, I thought in my head then I told her, "That's what you said earlier but then your mouth said something else!"

"What?" She asked again flashing those eyes at me. That made it so hard not to laugh. "I don't even like you Peter." she stated loud and clear. "I wrote that letter a million years ago. I am not sure how you got it. I kissed you because I needed someone else to think I didn't like them."

That didn't make much sense. That was a like too basic for an excuse. "Who is this guy?" I asked her. "Or else I would think you have a tattoo of my name in your butt."

She looked amused and raised one eyebrow. "Funny you would say that! There was a rumor that you got a tattoo of Gen's initials in your butt for her birthday. Did you really got one?" I never understood who started that rumor but it was abuzz for quite sometime for the previous school year. While neither of Gen and I got a tattoo or talked about anything like a good deal of people thought I did get one. Lara Jean was still looking at me amused as she playfully put one hand forward to pull my t-shirt. This made me yank from the stool and spill a bit of chocolate shake on the floor. She pulled her hand back and looked at me with a smug face like  _I made you uncomfortable Kavinsky._

I got back to the chair and with a serious threat face I asked her, "You better tell me who this boy is or you want me to tell the whole school that you wrote me a letter?"

She wasn't affected much, just rolled her eyes. "Its Josh." she said promptly.

"What? Doesn't that guy like, date your sister?"

Then it struck me. Yet again everything about this was about Josh Sanderson. It always have been Lara Jean and Sanderson since middle school. It shouldn't have surprised me earlier because she did have a thing or whatever for him. But now he was dating her sister. And I did't think she was the kind who would try to date their sister's boyfriend, especially when he sister was away for college. Either there was a deeper tone to this or I had to accept I didn't know Covey at all.

"They dated. In the past. And he got his letter so you can imagine how complicated that would get if he gets know that I like him."

 _his letter._ This day was getting worse and worse. That meant I was not the only recipient of her letter.

"You wrote another letter?" I asked her already consumed by my thoughts, " Wow, you really think you're special, then you find out she wrote two guys."

"Actually. . ." She smiled awkwardly, "I wrote five letters."

"Five letters? Damn you are a player, Covey." I told her.

"Yeah . . . " Then she noticed my phone on the table which was ringing almost every minute with a message. "Is that Gen?" She asked and nodded. "You don't want to keep her waiting."

"You know we are over right?"

"Gen and you have broken up before, it's only matter of time since you would be hers again." She said with such confidence. 

"I don't know." I sighed.

"I am gonna leave now." she said getting up. I realized she had been riding her bi-cycle so I offered her a ride. She didn't say no. If all of what she said was true, it must have been a stressful day for her. 

On the ride back we didn't talk much. I was still processing the fact that she liked Josh Sanderson and there were three other guys. I should have asked her who they were. Did she send the letters to make Sanderson jealous? But then why would she spend so much time trying to make amends for that.  

When we reached her place I asked her. "So what are you gonna tell Sanderson."

"I guess I will tell him the truth." She replied looking away.

"And what is the truth? Do you like him?"

She looked at me and smiled, "Its not your problem Peter." She got down and took her bike. My phone was buzzing with more texts. The last text from her read -

Of all people Lara Jean? Do I really need to remind you what a slut she is?

Gen was going nuts. For the first time the strings were in my hand. I liked this new found effect I had on her. And I got an idea. As Lara Jean walked slowly with her bike I walked up to her and proposed my idea.

"What if we told everyone that we were together?" 

"What?"

"Like fake date."

"Why would you do that?"

"Well it's driving Gen nuts. She can't stay away for too long, just needs some motivation."

"You want to use me get her back!" She gave me her judgy-face.

"Well, technically you used first when you jumped me!" I reminded her. "Besides Sanderson's not gonna flip out over your letter."

"He is not stupid Peter." She said in a plain voice as if I was the stupid one. 

"You don't have to answer me now. Just think about." She nodded her head and walked to the door. I walked back hoping she would agree eventually. I was about to get into car when I saw Sanderson out in front of his house with garbage bag. I hoped he hadn't heard anything because that would kill half the plan.

"Yo, Sanderson, yeah?" I said trying to make small talk and find some answers. He shouldn't know. I kept saying to myself.

"Taking Lara Jean home?"

"Looks like it."

"Hey, how long you two been hanging out?" He asked being protective, not that it was his business.

"Uh...Not long." I told him. It really hadn't been while he was always her neighbor. He's always been lucky to be in her proximity but he choose her sister. I wondered why would he do that. I hadn't met Margot but I knew Lara Jean, like in the past tense. But I knew her in those days when Sanderson could have possibly fallen in love with Lara Jean. If anyone was a dumbass it was Sanderson. 

I drove back home.In years I hadn't spoken to Lara Jean. Sitting like that in cafe and talking, we didn't do that, ever. But now that I had a conversation with her it seemed nice and easy. Like meeting an old friend. 

When I got home I saw Gen's car parked there. I knew this meant trouble. She walked up to me as soon as I got out of the car. She stared at me like she would murder me for a long time. I was stuck between the car door and her. She didn't say anything and that made it worse. Then she kissed me with the same fury in her eyes. It was hot, probably the most urgent kiss we had in past one month. She needed me and Lara Jean had facilitated that. I pulled back to make her want more.

"What are you doing? We are out front, Owen might see us."

She gave me the look like she didn't care about any of this and walked back her car. When she drove away from there I was smiling. For once I had the upper hand in this situation.

When I went in my mom was already in the house, although I didn't see her car outside.

"Everything's okay? Why are you so early?" I asked her following her to the kitchen.

"Owen's school has a bake sale. I am gonna make him some brownie cake." She said. "If you are not too busy giggling to yourself, you can help too." She seemed to be in a bad mood.

"What? I am not giggling or anything." I reply annoyed "And where is your car?"

"Gen was waiting outside wasn't she?" She asked me another question without replying.

"Yes." I replied briefly. "She is gone now."

"It would be nice if you don't make a scene in the front yard." she said taking out the baking ingredients from the cupboard. I realized she had seen me and it had made her very angry on me. That was fair enough. What kind of a mother would want her son to make out in the front yard.

"Mom she caught me by surprise. And I was the one who reminded her we were out in the open."  I informed her. She took the big mixing bowl for batter and looked up at me, "Didn't you guys broke up? And she was dating someone else." 

"Yes"

She took a deep breath, "Peter, this is not healthy." She said calming herself. "I understand she was your first girl friend and you would think she would eventually come back to you but what ever she is doing to you is not good. You are seventeen you can decide who you want to be with. Make sure you choose the right person who makes you happy." She said and cracked two eggs into the bowl.

"I am not trying to get her back." I lied. "She needs time to realize that because we have been together for so long she still hasn't grasped that we are not together anymore."

"But didn't she break up with you?" She asked "Besides two years isn't that long even for high school standards. I am sure when you go to college you will meet someone nice. You are so young Peter, everything feels so intense and meaningful but not everything is gonna last forever."

I nodded. "So whats up with your car?"

"Ah minor engine problem. I got it to the shop." She said the last bit with a sigh.

"And. . . what happened that you are not telling me?"

"I . . " She paused for a moment  to think whether to tell me to not. "I met your father. With his new wife."

"What did he want?"

"Nothing he said hi and asked if the boys are doing ok. It just that his presence makes me very angry sometimes Peter." She said "And he has no right to ask about you guys since he left."

"He is an asshole." Mom looked at me as I cursed, "Save it. You know too that he is one. Don't let him make you feel bad. You are doing great with us, the house, the shop. Don't let him bother you." 

Mom looked at me for one moment. "You have grown up so fast Peter. I am sorry I was mean to you earlier."

"Its ok. Save me some of the cakes ok." I told her and went to my room.

I didn't think about what my mom said Gen. She was probably just looking out for me. The person I involuntarily had thoughts about was Lara Jean Song Covey. It was strange but I keep playing the kiss and our conversation in my head. I couldn't be sure if I really had feelings for her this was because she jumped on me and caught me by surprise. One thing I was sure of, Covey wasn't as simple as I previously thought she was. Between her and Gen getting jealous, I still didn't know how I felt. She is fickle minded may be what she did was in a matter of anger. In the past we had broken up but we were back as soon as possible. I was afraid I was going to break both their hearts. I legit wanted Gen back but kissing Covey felt so good.

* * *

 

The next day at practice I saw Covey walking up to me. My team mates were spread across the field when she came near and said, "Lets do this." She was one of those cute smile on her face and kissed her in agreement. She kissed me back a little shy with her moments. Her mouth still felt good, getting me excited.If we were doing this, then there would more of these kisses, I thought. I broke the kiss to catch air, her face was red. She wasn't used to doing this, that too out in field in front of everyone. She told me she had trigonometry that hour and that she would be meeting me later.

We met near the picnic table beside field. She was already sitting there when I returned from practice.

"I think Josh is totally buying this." She informed getting a little too excited.

"Good. So what is going on really?" I asked her. "You and Sanderson hung out all the time as long as I remember him being in town. Gen and I always thought . . ." I pause seeing her looking away sadly.

"We were never more than just friends. He is Margot's. Even though they are together it is not set in stone. People can get back together." I nodded. I knew exactly how that felt, I was in that place with Gen.

"Why did you send the letters then?" I asked her. "That too. . . five of them!"

She looked at me defeated, " I didn't." She said. "My dad was on a cleaning spree, and it could be possible it went to Goodwill. And someone posted those."

"Mine came without a postal stamp." I informed her.

She thought about it for a minute and then let out a long breath, "I don't know, I can't break my head over this. I have no clue." She said, "I wrote that long, lo-ong time ago, so don't get worked up about it." I think she blushed a little mentioning that she liked me once. A small feeling raised inside me. Long time ago she did like me, it was real, not just for Sanderson's benefit.

"So if we are gonna do it we need some rules." She said becoming stern again.

"Who are the other guys?" I asked and she gave the annoyed look, "Covey, if we are doing this I would need to know the truth."

She looked down for a second and then said, "Fair enough. There was Lucas James Krapf, someone from camp and someone from model UN."

"Lucas from our school? He's gay!" I wanted to laugh that she didn't know that but I held that back.

"So rules, shall we?" I nodded a yes to her. "I don't want to kiss you. It's non-negotiable." She wrote that down.

"No one's gonna believe us!" I couldn't believe she wouldn't let me kiss her. Gen wouldn't buy it, guys from the team wouldn't buy it, no one in the school would buy it. 

"Josh would. And there are other ways of expressing love to someone. It doesn't all have to be physical." She said, "I don't want all my firsts to be fake with you Peter." She was right though if I was gonna go back with Gen I shouldn't get her too involved. 

"You can put a hand in my back pocket." She added and wrote down. "If anyone's gonna suspect, let them have that." I didn't know what that exactly it was but I agreed.

Next we decided to watch her romcom 16 Candles and fight club when we get the chance. Damn fight club is a good movie. The next rule was that I would write notes for her everyday.

"You'd do that?" She asked me with wide eyes that were mesmerized and compelling me to say how I felt about her, the letter and the kiss. I got real nervous that I would blow my cover, that Covey would know there was a tiny lingering feeling inside me, gnawing me over. I wasn't going to be a man who two-timed. If was going be with Gen, I will be with only her. Before it could flash across my face I told her that Gen always wanted me to write her those notes. Well she didn't, she wasn't into these small things but it worked for Lara Jean who completely believed me. We moved on to the next item. She had to come to all the parties and all of my games with me. And most importantly the ski trip. I hoped it won't go that long. By then I would be back with Gen and probably realize this weird feeling was nothing.  She kind of agreed half heartedly about the trip and shook my hand.

* * *

 

 

 

"Why don't you come home tonight." my mom said. "This is the first time Owen is bringing his girl friend home." 

"Is he old enough to have girl friends?"

We were at  _The fast breakers_ , cafe recently had opened in town. Mom and I had this ritual of getting breakfast every Saturday morning. She had ordered banana pancakes and I had waffles usually. Today was no exception.

"Owen is 23 Peter. And I think he really likes her. We will like her too." She said. 

Owen had just finished his masters degree and he was looking for a job before he could start his doctoral studies. He had grown up to be a smart and very hard working person. Since college he was often away as he too had gotten into UNC and had done his masters from Chicago. Now he was planning to work for a year in town and then move out for a PhD.

"How come you never liked my girl friends but Owen gets the advantage?" I asked her playfully.

"You had dated such . . .well unlikeable people." She replied bluntly, "Gen your first girl friend was absolutely worse. Kaylee from college was a snob and Sophie from your previous office was ok amongst the lot I guess."

"Lara Jean was nice." I remembered that she didn't like her much. "She baked you stuff and you didn't like her." I made it sound like a joke not intending to offend her over something that was ancient history.

 

"She was a sweet girl but yet you guys didn't last. Back then I was worried for you and your college. Now that you have a stable job and a career you should find someone nice. Don't expect your mother to set you up." She teased.

'I don't want you to set me up." I rolled my eyes. "I am just taking a break from all these, you know office has been hectic."

She agreed and we had a chat about her shop. She was getting it renovated but often it bothered her that who would take care of it after her. I was too busy with my job and Owen was mostly away.

"I will head out to the shop and I will see you home tonight." She said getting up. She was about to pay for her food but I told her not to worry. After she left I went to the counter and asked for the bill. The waitress Jenny knew I was a regular so she greeted me with a smile and asked to wait a bit.

"Can I have a bacon sandwich on the takeaway please and a chocolate muffin." I heard a familiar voice behind me. Instinctively I looked back and there she was. Lara Jean Song Covey. I counted the years in my head, it had been almost nine years since we last met. She hadn't been in town since college, may be a few times during holidays but we never crossed path. She hadn't changed much. Still had the long raven black long hair and still had a good dressing sense. She was wearing a black dress with floral prints that was unto her knee and a light blue denim jacket on it. She almost looked like before but much more elegant and lady like. Meeting my gaze she smiled spontaneously. Her signature cute Covey smile which was more charming now.

"What are the odds Kavinsky!" She said, quite excited to see me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her being fully surprised. "Moved back or on holidays."

"You could say something in between, Kavinsky. I wouldn't call it a holiday but I won't stay here for too long." She said it again. She called me Kavinsky instead of taking my name.

"What ever you say Lara Jean." I hesitated to call her Covey as it was kind of intimate back in those years.

Jenny the waitress came with the bill when she looked at me and said, "I am heading home after this, I will see you later I guess." I didn't know why would she want to see me after, if this was something or just two friends catching it was too weird to ask. It was christmas break which meant Kitty would be home from college. I would figure out from her later. 

I paid the bill and head to my car. Lara Jean spoke with me. That was something.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys need more reviews!


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